DO MEN REALLY LEAVE?

“For this reason shall A MAN LEAVE his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh”but  the question is do men  really leave? It’s a post I’ve had in my diary for a while now , I just felt today is the right day to publish it. Do men really leave? It’s a question I know many women especially newly weds gets puzzled over. Yours truly is not an exception.  I think that back then, the reality of me getting married didn’t really dawn on me until it was time to take certain decisions.

The first reality was leaving my house( wow!), moving my things, changing my location, leave my church , leaving all the atmosphere and the relationships I’ve long grown into and have been used to. The thought of leaving had never been a big deal until it was time to physically carry them out. Actually, there was a silent struggle. So much sacrifices I thought which is really just the beginning. I just guess mine was a bit fair.

Some women have had to quit well paying jobs (and become unemployed after wedding for only God knows how long), because that is what the husband wants, leaving our family behind,  leaving our family name , leaving location and  some women will not even work again forever to become full time housewives. By the way, i n this part of the world, people don’t really see value in being a stay-at-home mum, they are hardly valued except if the husband is really really rich! People see them sometimes as liabilities rather than asset…. but my Holy book says  it is the man that should leave. So I’m really asking… Do men really leave?

Men hardly struggle for acceptance from their in-laws, where- as the woman who has left everything behind will still be the one to push past barriers to still be completely accepted in her new family. Even in changing churches, they  still need some time to settle in into the new religious family. It’s a lot really. Men rarely have such problems.. So I ask again, who is really leaving?

Hmmn, quite ironical but men do leave.  A man does not need any ceremony to alter his decision or change their mind about something. Women have been wired in such a way that we connect events with emotions, that’s the only way we identify with most situations. There has to be an event that will physically connect a woman’s emotional decision to cement it in her soul. Even tho’ the man says he loves her and will want to marry her, it’s not enough for most of us women, we still want them to PHYSICALLY PROPOSE to show or assure us they mean the “I LOVE YOU”. Meanwhile, a man doesn’t need ALL of that to believe.

The leaving for a man is not on the wedding day and doesn’t really need any ceremony. The leaving for a man is in his decisions. Men are naturally born leavers! Some men don’t even rely on their parents again once they enter university…that’s leaving while most of us ladies at this state are still heavily dependent on our parents. Some men leave home immediately after graduation, some leave after getting a work only a few of them leave at the point of wedding. They need no ceremony. That act looks very simple but it is one decision that alters a man life  and it is one decision that separates men from boys.

So how do I know my man has left home? That’s actually one thing every woman should look out for in a man. Everyman who has left home will depend more on God. His walks and talks will reflect God. Mummy says or daddy says will become very minimal in such a man’s decision and he will begin to put you almost on the top of his priority list. That’s a man who has left home.  Such man will be willing to offer to help you financially without looking at what other people will bring to the table for your needs.

Back to my question. Do men really leave? very well they do? Apparently not sacrificially like us but they still do. They paid their dues well over before meeting us. I believe that’s well expressed enough.

Sincerly,
Oluseyi Adolphus