‪Diary of a newly wed

By Oluseyi Tendertots Olukoya
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I wishI‬ knew this well before I got marrried.
I wish I knew that women grow fatter significantly after wedding. I knew but I didn't know it was immediate, I was still expecting say like one year or after making baby(ies).

Going to church yesterday, I tried one of my lovely chocolate brown gowns that makes me really look petite and snazzy and my discoveries were real. I thought I had just added a little, so I decided to cut off all the linings of the gown maybe it will fit. Nay! It didn't. Yours truly had added some flesh. The gown doesn't even have any space at the side that you can loosen (an expensive gown fa!)People have been telling me but trying on my old clothes simply confirmed it. It's true, ladies add after immediately after wedding. It may not be true for all women but it's definately true for most of us. I needed to know why and here's what I found.

First of all: 'semen is only one percent sperm; the rest is composed of over 200 separate proteins, as well as vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc . Source- google.' What other protein does a woman need again after all these over- 200 proteins.

Secondly: The desire to cook new delicacies all the time to please Oga's belly(as against what obtains while single) gets on the rise everyday. You want your Oga too look taken care of innit? And most of these our delicacies, are also rich in mostly proteins and vegetables. Abi no be so? One is conscious of always serving a balanced diet. Weight adding factors.

Another reason is this: in the bid to share and eat together especially from the same plate, the lady eats more unconsciously than her normal portion because I mean, an average man eats a lot and then you're eating that 'a lot' with him . Also, inactive activities like snuggling up together on a couch sits up fat in a lady's body... Omo! no be small thing o.

Anyways, I've added. My clothes confirmed it, and the scale confirmed it. At least about 2-3kg. It sounds small but it was big enough to bounce me off my lovely gowns.

Ladies in the house and brides-to-be, my candid advice. A lot of ladies just get married without knowing a lot of things. Read as much as you can and ask questions. Information is powerful. It's easier to watch the weight than shed it. Do lots of exercise before your wedding day, shed some fats, and so your weight-gain after your wedding will just be to your normal weight... Do you get the drift? Human protein and the frequency of it dey make person swell o. I don tell you my own.

And for men in the house, before you start judging how fat we have become, remember the over 200 proteins you fill our buckets with all the time.
Back to the issue of my gown, I had to close my eyes and had to look for another brown one that was was still okay. And if you know my new culture, I 'gats' to be up and doing with my clothing. I 'connot' dash all my clothes o on top this levels o. You shall have to manage me like that. I'm trying to watch it now, but let's see how much of it can be watched.

Moral: Salute to every woman in the house! Salute to every lady watching and checking her weight. Salute to every woman who is concerned about it and salute to every man who considers all these. Salute to every woman trying to look sharp and snazzy for her husband even after releasing a whole human being from her tommy. And salute to every woman who also tried to reduce but couldn't go back to the original weight. Men in the house, before u yarb any woman again on how much she has added, speak a kind word first and show considerable support in shedding the weight knowing that most of these weight-gaining factors are traceable to us (men). Hope I won't get crucified with this post.